boyfulani

After various ‘revisions’ on my part, I am feeling my stomach tighten.I  am also tempted to break down into a string of whines but i’ve grown to hold that back…pretty much because, i have realized, inasmuch as i tell people my issues, there are others who have worse situations than mine…yeah, you know that equation.

that was a while back. it was also the same time i decided grow some  pair of balls, two tough hairy nuts, that tow/swing/like pendulums) along with me, everywhere i go.

and yes, despite my soft countenance, manhood doth ooze out of this system, gushing….on the few that care to stare.

see, the less i heed my feelings, the more happy i am. the more happy i am, the more pre-disposed i am to sinking into mushy ends and sexting old crushes that stalled, like career accounts clerks.

all this was until last month, when i met a girl. it was about campus. life was pretty much the same to me and as the mid semester slowly gave way to project deadlines, ‘defunct’ groups began to come to life. apparently, a pal of my had actually ‘hooked’ me up with her.

and we met. first on phone, severally texting…and before actually meeting, on email.

on my part, nothing, nothing like in the NGO world, was really going on in my mind. even after we actually met hurriedly to assemble some group work, i recall a sex-y thought crossing my mind- like, how would it feel to do such a girl in? Yeah, she did have a heavy Brit. accent and walks about with some sophisticated swag…or stagger (as i later discovered she be a ganja breed). And i ever the little African Boy, humble unlike his dreams, just wondered…as i disappeared into the night.

Nov. 2, last month, i’ll never forget, the first time our greetings went past the elbow and a super invite rang out and wohooo…everything took place between 8:00pm and 6:00am.

Don’t ask, but…experience did fail me here. I was floating in a different cloud that massaged my naivety and soon, i was  a pothead! I knew i would do pot one day (like all my pals, call it beer/peer pressure) but not until this suave pothead swang my way did this urge to do it then became stronger. My life was changing…i was in another realm…still thinking i was still the same, still got served (dont ask) till weeks later when she stopped dead on her tracks and the ‘we need to talk’ line came screeching inside our stoned room.

By then, i had a list of the guys (pre-decessors, x-files) she had before, and man, that wasn’t exactly an incentive, esp. knowing some of the preeeeeetty well.Funny thing, she din’t care to hide, or assume the good girl-met-bad-boy tag…and there i was, reeling, my camera recording, thinking about how the different timezones haver really messed her up…’stead of opening her world view.

I, on the other hand…yeah, i had lost focus…quite much, i know and she started sending subtle hints (without ‘meaning badly’) lol that she thought i was this focused guy who intimidated her, blah..only to realize that i actually did stuff like smoke, drink…and i said aye! That’s me.

And that, was the beginning of the end.